a few setbacks and a few steps forward

I know – long time, no post. Those who know me may know why and those who don’t (or weren’t paying attention when I was crapping on to them over the tea-table at work) well, listen up. I have been off the radar, so to speak, while the doctors work out why on earth I have been (literally) so damned sick and tired for the last 4 months or so. And when I say tired, it is not just “gosh I need a bit more sleep” – this is something that had me sleeping 10 hours each night, waking up exhausted and needing to have a lie down most afternoons after work so I could get through the evening.  The results are in and the news isn’t exactly great – it would seem I was slowly working myself towards chronic fatigue syndrome, as well as a high level of insulin resistance, non existent iron levels and vitamin D levels that were so low that the pathologist couldn’t actually get a reading from the two blood samples I have provided. This all means that my immune system is, in the words of the doctor, “significantly compromised”. That’s the “suck” part of the news. The “not so suck” part is that:

1.  I do have CFS but  it’s the early stages and in terms of how bad it can be “I managed to pull up the nose just in time” (those are my drs words, not mine) That said, I have had to make some fairly significant  changes to my lifestyle, including nanna bedtimes and  dropping my training to less energetic levels (not allowed to get heart rate above 155 bpm at the moment and am experiencing the joy of having to wear a heart rate monitor EVERY time I exercise). I am taking this as best I can – being a  chronic night owl and competitive, pushy over achiever in training has helped SO much in that regard. Not.    
2. Insulin resistance is not type II diabetes, but it’s pretty damn close. Part of this is because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS or PCOD for those who want to do research) and also because basically my diet had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many carbohydrates in it. This can be fixed with a combination of medication and diet changes.
3. The vitamin D problem can be fixed with supplements, so can the iron, so I am now rattling like a pill bottle.

There is also a  solution in all of this. Part of it is that common sense advice that you get from your mum or someone equally as wise – lots of rest, lots of water, patience to get better and give my immune system a chance to get better. It needs TLC, good fuel and time. Sounds easy huh? I am the world’s worst patient and so this represents a bit of “thing” that gives me the shitty pants big time. I am coming to terms with the fact I can’t just “fix it” in the space of 4 days, but I have to admit it still monumentally pisses me off some days.

The insulin resistance and problem with carbohydrates are being addressed by a new way of eating. Doctor, nutritionist et al are encouraging me to not call it a “diet” as this is probably going to have to become the way I will eat more or less for the rest of my life.  Now, can I just get this out f the way first before I start to talk about diets etc. I am well aware that EVERYONE out there has a friend/friend of friend/associate/favourite episode of 60 minutes that told them all about how I will fail. So now you know that I know that you will be dying to tell me the I am eating will kill me and/or make me miserable/farty/sick/feral/turn me into an alien, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just listen to this next statement – this has been agreed upon by my doctor and a nutritionist as the best way for me to continue to lose weight, address the majority of my health problems and ensure I get better. So, “what is this “not diet” you’re on?” I hear you ask? It’s a low carb, higher protein and so-many-veggies-I-could-have-a-salad-named-after-me eating plan, very close to the Atkins (the new one, not the old one written in 1972) Diet. I have been given a lot of the recipes from the website and the nutritionist has “tweaked” them to make sure that they aren’t too high in any saturated fats etc. 

Out of all of the changes I’ve had to make, the ones that have sucked the most are

1. Cutting down coffee to one cup per day. All I can say to this is FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I LOVE my coffee and this well and truly sucks big hairy ones.
2. Giving up alcohol. I didn’t have to completely give it up, but I have decided that maybe it would just be better to go “cold turkey” as, for me, it is better to work out the really special occasions where i can have a drink or two rather than relying on good old self-control.

Got to be honest here – it took a lot not just to go “fuck it” and not listen to what the quack had to say, but I really deep, deep down that’s just not me. I’m approaching this as though someone has said to me “You can’t do it” because there is nothing more motivating to me than to prove someone wrong. I set myself the challenge of not cracking once on the eating plan once for the first 5 days to “prove” to “someone” I could do it and guess what? I worked. I have no idea who that “someone” is but it is working, so I’ve set myself the next challenge of 10 days without cracking. Will let you know how I go.

So onwards and upwards – or downwards. Forwards? I have no idea. Will be posting more regularly now that I am not falling asleep pretty much as soon as I get in the door from work in the afternoons, so I am hoping you will forgive my tardiness last month. Also, I will keep doing my measurements and weight etc, so that will keep you entertained. They will go up as soon as I get  a new tape measure – have no idea where the old one has ended up – was last seen being used as a belt/scabbard for a papier-mache sword. Don’t ask.