stats update done

Hi all! Stats for this month are done – you can read them here.

12 months on

Hi all. Well, here I am 12 months on and am guessing you may be wondering what on earth I may have achieved in the last 12 months and that’s an extremely fair question. So, here we go…

• In terms of weight and CM loss, it has not moved much from where I’ve started, which is a bummer. Although there have been many “fuck this for a joke” moments I just have not been able to just give up completely, let myself go and become even fatter. I just can’t do it. So I guess that means onwards and, um, downwards.
• A lot of money has been raised for Bosom Buddies. This is fantastic. I would like to especially mention Andrew Pearce and his family, who have donated very generous sums to Bosom Buddies over the last 12 months.
• Netrasska Chiron died of breast cancer. She was a dedicated member of Bosom Buddies and we still miss her every day. Sadly, this story is echoed all around Australia every day as people lose those who they love to this disease.Persepctive in spades.
• I have battled with the black dog. It has not been an attractive fight, but coming to terms with mental illness rarely is. The anxiety/depression disorder I have is not new, I’ve had it for some time, but the last 12 months have been particularly challenging. Although it really didn’t feel like it at the time, it has been worth it. Talks with the brain care specialist, medication and CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) have got me to a point where I can have hours of time without my “inner demons” telling me what a worthless, fat, disgusting person I am. It does wonders to have a break from self-hatred. Trust me.
• The support I have received from friends, family and complete strangers have restored my faith in the human race. It is reassuring to know you have a cheer squad.
• I started training with MIstress Pain (aka Oli from HypePT). This has been great and painful at the same time. I always knew I was a masochist.

So where to from here? I am going to start recording my weight and measurements again. I am feeling strong enough to deal with it and can see it as a positive thing, rather than a negative. This means the measurements page will crank up again – stay tuned for next week.

There are lots of other things – god, bad and ugly – but I don’t need to harp on about those, as they are covered in blog posts. So strap on your truss, year 2 of Boobs is about to begin.

Oh also check this out. If you are a rugby union fan, you might want to bid on this jersey. It is rasing money for Bosom Buddies.

NOT new year’s resolutions

Welcome to 2010, BOOBS followers! Hmm, thinking about it, that little line might get me some interesting redirects from Google.  I know it has been a long, sometimes torturous and on the odd occasion, downright frustrating ride since last June. The weight has not come off and I put that solely down to the fact that although I told myself (and the rest of you) that I really wanted to lose weight and get fit, in the end it was all just talk on my part. Not that I didn’t try, but I found that after the euphoria of enthusiasm wore off, all that was left was a great bit bag of self-doubt, self-hatred and frankly, a lack of faith in myself as a person. Throw in a few setbacks such as my foot injury (more on that later) and all it meant that in the end, a lot of navel gazing got done but not a whole lot else. Whilst not happy on the lack of weight loss, this amount of time has allowed me to do some really serious soul-searching, as well as some intensive therapy. There was a lot of anger and lack of belief in a lot of things, but most of the anger and negative thinking was directed straight at myself. Sadly at other times it was also directed outwards and I have really hurt some people by lashing out. I am lucky and on the whole, people have been a lot more understanding than possibly I deserved to be, but this in itself has restored some of the faith I have in myself. Odd how things work out, eh?

I am not a big believer in ne year’s resolutions – I reckon we make them because we think we are supposed to, not so much that we really want to. As my shrink puts it, January 1 is just another day and although it’s symbolic, not really any more than any other. It is about what is on the inside, not a date, time etc that determines how you succeed. So during this year this is what I’ll be dealing with:

• Working around my foot injury. As I have blogged about before, it is just not getting better quickly and the latest prognosis is that it will be August before I can think about any kind of serious impact work. This means that swimming, cycling, weights, ab work and anything that does not mean impact on my foot are the main parts of my exercise regime.
• I am not going to set dates on progress. You are welcome to ask and I will put them up when requested, but mainly I will post them at random now. After a lot of psych sessions, these kind of things I set myself so I can have something to fail. An actual “negative” target. Don’t ask, it’s really hard to explain. Just take it for granted I am a bit nutty and don’t see goals the same way as other people.
• I am going to join weight watchers. After my nutritionist quit I took this as a sign that everything is against me and I should just give up, all support I have just vanishes blah blah blah. Some support is important, but I am finally becoming self-reliant. This is a huge step for me and I will have the odd shaky moment, so something like weight watchers is like a  backup for me. And because I am married to the most amazing man in the world, Tim is going to join me. Champion.
• Please let me know what you would like to hear about. I will continue to crap on as always, don’t worry.

See you soon!

Weigh in dates

Some of you have asked for dates when I’d have my weigh ins, so as much as I prefer not to be an organised person, here is a schedule

• August 12th
• September 17th – had to change from the 10th due to too much work and my nutritionist being away!
• October 15th
• November 12th
• December 10th

That’s as about as organised as I can be at this stage. Please be aware that these could have a few days either side of them, but this should give you a rough guide. if this is not specific enough for some of you, I suggest you get some professional help for your OCD.

B.O.O.B.S survival tips

Ive been asked a few times now what are the things that seem to help me the most with keeping the B.O.O.B.S. campaign going, rather than retiring to a room with wine, cheese and a bad attitude. I’ve blogged before that it’s taken June and July just to get my head straight and then most of August to find my motivation, but things are FINALLY coming together (known in management bullshit bingo as “convergence”), so I can now let you in on my “weapons of choice” when it comes to keeping me going;

1. iPOD – exercising without classic tunes such as “The Whistle Song” and “Jump around” to spur you on basically sucks. Music is great because it spurs you on, helps pass the time and covers up the gasping noises I tend to make when I’m 10 minutes into a 30 minute session on the step machine. if the song has  a catchy beat, I also try to distract myself by getting my fat to wobble along to the bass beat. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it – my ultimate aim is not being able to do it at all.
2. a good sports bra – cannot emphasise enough how important for me. My trainer has moved me onto some higher impact stuff now and last week I was not wearing the right over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Ow. Also incredibly distracting for anyone else in the gym. even if it is all girls. In the same way that guys all make that involuntary noise and bend over a bit when they see someone else get hit in the nuts, girls get sympathy pain when they see a pair of boosies trying to set a new record in the “bounces per minute” stakes.
3. motivation – this has waxed and waned since I started, but I can honestly say that this is now picking up and I am no longer wanting to give up and walk away all the time. Sometimes, but not all the time. I checked on ebay and no one seems to be selling any, so I’ve just had to work it out myself. Bugger. Canned motivation sounds great.
4. A sense of humour – can’t place enough imporantce on this one. Seriously, if you are having anxiety attacks every time you walk past the cheese section in Woolies and spend some serious time pondering on the value of pizza, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you are fucked. It also helps to practice laughing at yourself when you are as unco as I am, as trips, slips and just general clumsiness make regular appearances every time I exercise.
5. Support – at times having people standing there cheering me on completely stresses me out, but to be honest, I would have thrown the towel in long before now if I didn’t have my support crew backing me up and telling me I am talking crap when I sit on the floor and blub about how hard everything is, I can’t do it and why is life so unfair????????? WAAAAAHH!!!! Having someone march over wearing a “team B.O.O.B.S.” t shirt, kicking me up the arse, giving me a hug and then pointing me in the right direction (salad, treadmill, chill pill) makes a world of difference. Thanks, guys.

alternatives to sponsoring me and money raised so far

Hi all,

Some people have taken the approach that they would like to contribute money to the BOOBS campaign by sponsoring themselves to lose weight – this is awesome and thanks so much for coming up with new ways to get money raised. They are also asking their friends to sponsor THEM and then pass the money onto Bosom Buddies. This is also fine – whatever blows your skirt up. Just for those who are thinking of undertaking weight loss/exercise etc – please get checked out by your GP before you start, especially if you’ve been, well, more of a couch person than a treadmill person for a while. Also, make sure you get some professional advice re exercise – personal trainers, gyms etc are there to help. In the long run it means you will reduce your chance of injury and see better results. End of lecture.

On the subject of money, so far over $6200 has been donated/pledged. Thankyou so much!

Reflections on the first month of BOOBS

Now that we’re safely into July, I thought I’d have a moment to gaze at my navel and reflect on how the first month of BOOBS has gone. The fact that I am writing this whilst watching my youngest child, William, dance around to the Oompa Loompa songs on the Johnny Depp version of “Charlie and the chocolate factory” and wondering if it is too early in the morning for brandy should give you some idea of my state of mind.

June has been a very up and down month. On the good side, I got started and pledges and donations have started coming in. On the not so good side, I have had a shocking run when it comes to health – 2 bouts of a really shocking cold that developed into a yummy lung infection, so training took a bit of a hammering. This has also meant that breaking the bad habits I’ve built up over the last 15 years when it comes to food has really been hard. Yes, yes, I know, I bought this on myself, it just sounds like I’m making excuses, it’s easy to stop bad eating habits if I’m really dedicated etc etc. And it’s true, but habits are hard things to break and sometimes the power of positive thinking isn’t quite enough. So, what to make of all this?

Well, July should be a bit easier as I can get back into training and I have always found it is easier to stick to a diet when I know I’ve been able to get some exercise in as well. Kind of the whole “don’t undo all the good work you’ve just done” thing. I have also realised that I really need to cut out alcohol – so many empty calories and there’s nothing more fun than running on a treadmill with a force 9 hangover. I still have a weigh in this Friday, so with luck I’ve maintained my weight and perhaps even taken some off. I’ll post it on Friday whilst munching on some carrot sticks and drinking water.

Cryo dieting

I have come up with the best way to lose weight! I went for my walk up Mount Ainslie today and it just so happened to be 9 degrees outside, with a wind chill factor of 1.7c degrees. So, not only was I walking up a rather steep hill, I was freezing my buttocks off in the fresh Canberra winter air! I would like to call this “cryo dieting”. If I was feeling really game (and had plenty of money so I could pay my bail) I would go sans clothes just to have that extra “edge”. Imagine  how much space I would have to myself!! My nipples cracking off when I finally reached the top could be a disconcerting moment, but hey, I’m sure it wouldn’t be against the rules to carry a small backpack to put them in. Before you write this off as complete craziness, think on this – people will go on diets that consist of urine and apples for 10 days. Doesn’t make cryo dieting sound so nutty, does it? Anyway, 10 days into the BOOBS campaign and going pretty well so far – all I really miss is the alcohol and cheese. I won’t be weighing in any earlier than Jul 1st, but stay tuned for results in other areas – like my arrest for public nuisance.

Mmmmmmmm, cheese

I decided tonight that I should enjoy some last “pleasures” before I have to get my game, er, B.O.O.B.S on. So, I am currently enjoying the company of my husband, Tim, a brie, red wine and mersey valley vintage cheese. Tomorrow will be filled with preparations for the start of the B.O.O.B.S campaign, along with some fruity flavours, as the cheese works its way through. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, cheese.

And now it’s official – BOOBS!!!!!!

Finally, after a lot of coffee conversation, juvenile sniggering over words like “boob” and “ta ta’s” and wondering what on earth I’m doing, a “campaign” name has come to the fore. Officially, my weight loss/fundraising drive will be known as Burning Off (kg) for Our BosombuddieS – BOOBS for short. So, get behind my BOOBS campaign and keep the pledges coming!