Do you remember the episode of “The Simpsons” when Homer kept seeing an alien on his way home from Moe’s and they called in Mulder and Scully? This has always been one of my favourites, mainly due to the scene where Scully puts Homers on a treadmill and tells Mulder that she finds watching Homer running mesmerising, “kind of like a lava lamp”. I know this feeling – not being mesmerised on a treadmill, mainly the feeling of parts of my body (mainly boobs, bum and tummy) seeming to move off in their own direction when I run. I mean, it’s kind of the right way for them to move, but the sheer mass of the movement is kind of off putting at times – the worst one is probably RPM, when the ta ta’s and tummy move around so much I kind of reach this critical mass stage where I think I’m going to be wobbled right off the bike by sheer momentum. Especially not comfortable is the bit where my stomach (pushed up my my furiously pedalling legs) is pushed up into my descending bosom at the rate of around 4 impacts every 6 seconds. Thank god the music is loud, as I feel the sound of flesh slapping together would be very disturbing for the rest of the class.
“Why has she crapped on about this for a whole paragraph?” I hear you ask. Well, one I promised you could be voyuers – never promised for it to be pleasant. That’s the risk you take. Two, trying to give you an idea of WHY I want to do this (beyond raising money for charity). Slimmer and fitter is good, no longer feeling like a lava lamp is even better. Spread the word about my campaign, stay tuned and go watch some more Simpsons episodes…
